The Reason
by SquishyTeddy
Summary: Remus fell for Lily, but did she notice? Did she ever see the unseen pain she put him through? The pain of being close enough to kiss her, yet being to far away to let her see who he was? [ Lily/Remus, Lily/James Love/Hate. Sugar covered sugar ]
1. Deadly Sarcasm

The Reason  
  
By: *Squishy*Teddy*  
  


  
It was the start of a new year, Sixth year to be exact. Too make clear, the exact date was September 1, 1976. I, Remus Lupin, was sitting at the Gryffindor table. Waiting for those annoying first years to be sorted. So far, we had a Kathy Stratton, a John O'brien, and a Dani Surin. To say the least, it wasn't much of a year for the Gryffindor house. Ever since Voldemort's uprising, many of the weak families joined his side. And it just so happens, many of those weak family's kids ended up in Slytherin. I wasn't paying attention to that. Hell, I was hardly paying attention to the sorting. It had gotten extremely boring after the first 4 times of seeing it. Soon after, or was it much later? Well, all and all, the food arrived after the sorting. My three piggish friends started piling that beautiful smelling food onto their plates. I grabbed some mashed potatoes and carrots. I wasn't up for meat, at least, not since the last full moon. It may come to a suprise to many, that a nice, quiet, studious boy like myself was a monster. A true monster. A werewolf. Of course, my three friends, who were now eating that pile of slopped food from there plates, knew. They even risked being expelled for trying to become an Animagus, to help me. Ahh, those three boys were my best friends. My family, My brothers. I never really had a family. Most my biological family abandoned me when I got bit. Neglected, somewhat hateful of them. I never turned back. I never tried to find them. Who needed them anyway? They never tried to help me through this. But, my friends did, and somehow, I think they knew what I was going through. Even though they weren't werewolves.   
  
There was Peter Pettigrew. A short, rumble-tumble boy who, in his first year, nearly got his ass kicked by some Seventh year Slytherins. It was us who saved him from it. He never did stop following us around after that, but he grew on us. Even though, He was clumsy, and piggish. He was always there to be a decoy, a friend. Though, I always did suspect him not being as loyal to us as the rest of us were to each other.  
  
There was, also, Sirius Black. A long black-haired, light blue eyed, well built guy who always brought a humorous smile to anyone's face when they were feeling lower then a merman. The female population of Hogwarts described him as 'Tall, Dark and Handsome." You could call him the one with the imagination, also. He came up with all our pranks on the school. He was also the one who took the blame for us. Mr. Detention of Gryffindor. You never knew what he was up too, but when he got that glint in his eyes. You always figured it out. He was loyal to us. And I know, He would never tell anyone I was a werewolf. He didn't even tell Snape, a greasy-haired, boot-kissing, Slytherin, that I was one after a good beating. He ended up in the Infirmary for a week. And you know what? That ass kisser wasn't even expelled! But, we got him, and we were going to get him again, but we first had to work out the kinks in our plot.  
  
Finally, there was James Potter. All around popular guy of Hogwarts. He wasn't short, and he, also, wasn't tall. You could describe him as scrawny, but the kid was tough. He was, also, on of the kindest people in the school. A real Albus Dumbledore. James treated everyone he met with a respect. The young man had untidy black hair, violet eyes that were hidden behind round, thick glasses. You couldn't really call him a nerd, though he had natural smarts in Magic. He was also, a natural quidditch player. Anyone could see that this kid had everything going for him. Everything but a love life, you see, even with the many girls from the four houses swooning over him, he just never got the picture. He hadn't ate as much as the other two and was now, glancing down the table at a laughing, smiling Lily Evans.  
  
Lily Evans, now there's a story. This kid was a muggle-born, who was also in the sixth year. She nearly always had her nose in the crevice of the book. Maybe that's why she was made a prefect, along with James and I. Sirus and Peter never had the esque for it, and I really don't think that Sirus wanted it. But Lily was one of the most persistent prefect that I think, Hogwarts ever had. If she saw something wrong, like a first year getting picked on, even if it was playful teasing, she would saunter over there and tell the people doing the poking, off. (Not to mention, take points off.) Even with that controlling-prefect attitude, her looks made up for it. Not to mention, her unprefect duty attitude as well. You just had to see a glimpse of her and, you knew, she was pretty. That wavy red hair sliding down her shoulders and onto her back. Those glittering emerald pools had something special in them. She had a wonderful figure too. I'm not going to go into details about that. She was always smiling and nice to people. I still don't think anyone understood her completely. Oh, but did she have a temper! That's was one of the reason no one understood her. She got mad at something's, like normal people, but when she saw something that, excuse me for this, made her pissed. You knew that you had to get out of the way, because the witch would cast a charm that even Dumbledore had took ages to get off.  
  
That's maybe why I liked her. She could scare and comfort you. Lily always had this thing for sticking up for people who couldn't stick up for themselves, like Peter.   
  
It wasn't too long after my daydreaming/thinking session that, there was a hard smack on my back. I turned to see Sirius smiling that toothy smile. I raised my light blue eyes to him and smiled back. He had a low, harsh voice, but wasn't that normal for a guy?  
  
"Aren't I right, Remus? Aren't I right?" Sirius nodded. I raised my eyebrows in question. I don't really think he noticed that, but the group just waited for my answer.   
  
"W-what were we talking about?" I said. My voice wasn't as low as everyone else's, and it wasn't as harsh as Sirius' but it was there when it was needed. My trio of friends busted out with snickers, which caused most of the Gryffindor table to look at us. Everyone besides Lily, that is.  
  
"Same old Remus. Always with his head in the clouds. Well, you had that fresh air up there, we were talking about these Hogwarts girls," He leaned forward and placed his robe-covered elbows on the table, resting his head against his folded hands. "Don't you think that Narcissa Zimmerman is the hottest girl in Hogwarts? I dunno, but blondes always turned me on." He turned to a coughing from Peter who was choking on a chicken bone. It only took a good slap on the back from James to get it out, and land in my potatoes.  
  
"Sirius, she's in Slytherin! She cant possibly be considered hot. Besides, I think her ego's too large. Did you ever see the way her dainty little nose was stuck in the air?" Peter continued arguing as I pushed away my food and nodded with James, who apparently agreed with Peter. "As for myself, I think that Heather Gibson of Hufflepuff is drop-dead gorgeous. You know, with that short blonde hair..." Peter was interrupted by a gag from Sirius. I was still paying attention, magically. I never got into this stuff though. At least, not until I was asked.  
  
"Did you see her gobs of makeup? I mean, damn, she looks artificial. Not to mention, she thinks too high about herself and all. Ever try to have a mature conversation with her? It's about sex or lipstick." Sirius added. He told it the way it was, another reason he was one of my best friends.  
  
"What about you, James?" Peter inquired. He still had that squeaky, still maturing voice.  
  
"Oh really, guys. Do we have to discuss this?" He was playing with his food. James never did like talking about girls, for some reason. I'm guess his head was always in the clouds, along with his broomstick and that golden snitch.  
  
"Come on, Jamesie-poo," Sirius threw an arm around my neck and swayed back and forth slightly. No, he wasn't drunk. I've seen him drunk, this was normal. "Tell us about your opinion. I swear it wont influence ours a bit." He grinned that toothy smile, again.  
  
"Well, you know Lily's friend, Nada Dumbledore. She's quite pretty, one of the prettiest, I think." James again, looked at his food and poked around. We usually talked about Lily. I couldn't help it, but I let out a gag. Nada Dumbledore, was he kidding? She was one of the most annoying people I knew. Her and that glass ball. She was a real Trelawney, except with more problems. I wasn't suprised she was Headmaster Dumbledore's daughter, though. You know, she quite resembled her father. Except for her hair. Probably her mothers gene.   
  
My three friends looked at me in suprise. I was never one to open my mouth to talk about girls, much gag to one. That was Sirius' job.  
  
"What? I don't like her. She's just to annoying, really." My eyes lowered to my mashed potatoes with that chicken bone sticking out of it. I picked up my spoon and started swishing it around my plate. Yes, I was nervous, because I knew what they'd ask next, and I prayed to God that someone would interrupt it.  
  
"Okay, Moony, who do you like?" Sirius let his arm drop with those words. He knew what he was doing. He knew it would embarrass me, but he still asked. I was just about to open my mouth to say, quite plainly, it was none of their business and they shouldn't care because it wouldn't change their opinion anyway. I never expected Sirius, who still sat, grinning forward at nothingness. James huffed slightly and watched her. Peter was eating, the pig.  
  
"How are my four favorite boys? Staying out of trouble I hope." Lily green-tiers eyed Sirius who just smiled like a maniac. "Are we going to stay out of the Prefects bathroom when a certain girl is taking her bath this year, or will I have to rip out your tonsils manually, and take points off?" She was mainly talking to Sirius.  
  
"Yes, Professor Evans, I'll be a good boy and not sneak into the Prefects loon when your in it." He turned to Lily and kissed her forehead. Who, immediately, lifted her hand and knocked him upside the head with it, but that didn't stop Sirius. I still don't think that anything ever will. "Did you burn your bra this summer, Lily? A very reliable source said you were hanging around with Hippies all summer from America."  
  
"Sirius, that's really none of your business," She straightened up, leaving one arm around my neck. She was warm, and it felt good around my bare neck. Hogwarts is not one of the warmest places you know. And if I just could have that be forever, I would. Though, a couple minutes would do also.  
  
"Moo-Moo-Moony" Sirius cooned at me, again trying to get me out of my Dream state. "It's time for the annual you-know-what. . ." He nudged me in the ribs with his elbow, and I got up, very, very reluctantly. Lily's arm, on the other hand, slid down my back. I couldn't help but smile, and, ever so slightly also. If one of the boys saw this, I would never live it down, and I mean NEVER.  
  
"Can I come?" Ms. Evans inquired. Three of our group turned to the smiling redhead. I continued to face forward. I knew what was coming. James, Sirius and Peter would say 'no' like usual. I would feel bad when Lily turned her back and start towards the table again. And Ms., I-am-so-perfect-because-I'm-the-headmasters-daughter would give me hell for a week Not the other three boys though. Ahh, life is a teeter-totter, and I'm the kid who's stuck in the air while some fat kid, (No, it's not Peter.) eats an ice-cream cone.  
  
But, for some reason, maybe the planets aligning or something, James and Sirius nodded. While, Peter just scowled, and I tilted and turned my head slightly, whisps of sandy blonde hair falling in my eyes, to see my angel putting a bounce in her step and following. Lightheartedly.   
  
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Lily stumbled through the secret passage into the boy's dorm, falling forward as Sirius busted out laughing, trying to tell her to "Watch out for that step" through them. Peter also followed the suit, and was soon doubled over with laughter. I, who was already through, offered my hand to Lily, which she took graciously, and pulled herself up. James, who was last, squeezed through the small passage opening, which he never seemed to have a problem with before. Apparently I missed the view that, which I found out the next day from nearly every giggling, ditzy girl in the school, that he had grown both taller, and muscular, but he was still James to me.  
  
James plummeted onto his bed, face down. Sirius took his seat at the end of James' bed, and Peter on my trunk, which was brought up by the house elves. Lily sat in front of my bed and I laid facing the other two, behind Lily, on my stomach. James turned over.  
  
"So...Padfoot, what's the first order of business?" James asked, starting to sit up. To my recognition, James was thinking when he was laying down. I noticed Lily raising an eyebrow, probably question the name "Padfoot," which we only used in our little circle. I smiled at her confusion, though well disguised.  
  
"Same as always, Prongs. We need a name, and since, this year, we have a thesaurus--" Sirius grinned as he said this. Lily, being the smart broad she was, noticed was the thesaurus and let out a small 'Hey' in exasperation as Sirius continued, "With us this year. We might actually agree on something."  
  
James turned to Lily, who had been smiling since she boarded the train that morning, and still was. "So, Firebird, what's the name?"   
  
"Firebird? Nice names, -Prongs-," She exasperated it, pushing some red strands of hair out of those eyes. "First off, what is your club about?"   
  
"Well, since you asked," James put on a quirky grin as he started talking. Apparently, he had thought everyone new of our little club. "We--pull pranks, steal food from the kitchens, sneak into the Prefects bathroom to spy on unsuspecting girls, and after our daily work is done, we look through witch weekly and discuss what shade of lipstick goes best with our robes!" He ended in a sarcastic tone as he fell off the bed and rolled to Lily's feet, who was murmuring something about drama queens, and soon crawled on my bed and sat next to me. Too James, Sirius and Peter it was quite funny. I looked at Lily, who was glaring daggers at James.  
  
"Moony -finally- got a girl on his bed!" Sirius shouted, but not loud enough for the common room, downstairs to hear, which in Lily's case was a good thing  
  
Lily tried to remain to look uninfected, but she mumbled something that sounded like Pirates, that was really ment to come out to be heard as 'perverted pricks.'  
"Nah, Firebird, we already came up with Pirates before. It didn't sound to original so we   
held off the idea. But, if you could come up with---" Peter began talking as was interrupted by an anxious Lily, who was nearly bouncing on the bed, which sent Sirius falling off of James bed with laughter and landing on James, who immediately began laughing. This seemed to have no effect on Lily though.  
  
"The Marauders," She put it bluntly and immediately stopped James from laughing, which effected Padfoot to stop. James nudged him to get off, and he did so.  
  
"Firebird," James said as he started to walk towards her. She started to back up, but not quick enough, James grabbed a hold of her and pulled her into a close hug, which sent a pang of jealously through me. "Your a genius!"  
  
"That's what my exams tell me too." She spoke with sarcasm, and James let go of her, sending her sprawling across my back.  
  
"You know, Evans, you really have to work on that." James grumpily said, crossing his arms over his chest. He was seemingly hurt, even though I didn't know why then, but, I do now. I really do, but that doesn't have anything to do with the story, right now, anyway.  
  
"Why, Potter, I do have no clue on earth what you are talking about." She grinned, pulling herself off my back, and I went back to having a staring contest with Sirius, sadly.  
  
"Oh, don't play dumb, Lily. We all know you aren't," James still had his arms crossed, looking like a disgruntled 5 year old, or a 16 year old for that matter, which, he suprisingly was. "You do this every year. You and that sarcasm, then we spend the rest of the year hating each other. Well, I'm sick of it. I'm to mature for it." Basically everyone let out a scoff but Lily and James. "I will not spend my year pulling and getting pranks on and from the girl I--" He stalled, which made the rest of the group wait in anticipation "am supposed to be friends with." I let out a sigh of relief. Both Sirius and Peter scowled, apparently, they were waiting for the same thing I thought. I knew, if James were ever to get Lily, I would never have a chance again.  
  
"For one, I never pulled a prank on you. Secondly--" James interrupted her, shouting quite   
loudly.  
  
"Lily! I had pink hair and blue polka dotted skin for a month. It took weeks for Dumbledore to try and get it off me."  
  
"That, James, was revenge. Not a prank." Lily crossed her arms, crawling off my bed to stand up. She was just about James' height, just a bit shorter.  
  
"Revenge for what?"  
  
"You know exactly what for!"  
  
"Do I? Elighten me!"  
  
"Sometimes Potter, You can really be a--"  
  
"You know, Evans, You really can be a--" They had said the last two phrases at the same time, which caused our fiery redhead to throw her hands in the air and head out to the common room, slamming the door with a loud BANG. James had walked off the opposite way, and stopped at the wall. The angry man rested both hands on the wall, leaning against it. When the bang sounded, he turned around, pointing towards the recently slammed door. His voice was low, and sounded very dangerous. We all knew when he got that tone, he was either planning a prank on Snape, or near killing stage.  
  
"One day, I am going to hurt her very badly." James growled and headed towards his bed. Sirius was still on the floor, looking extremely scared or was it stunned? Peter, I was sure, was scared. I straightened up.  
  
"Not while I'm alive James, not while I'm here." My eyes flashed danger, just as James voice did.  
  
"Moony, I'm not about to fight with you. Your one of my best friends, and she's a--she's a--" James pulled back the covers, and went to the trunk, still searching for the right word.   
  
"Prongs, I don't want to hear it. I'm going to bed." And with that, I did. I did thinking about things, especially Lily. James never did that when any other girls were sarcastic to him. Only Lily. He never got mad when another girl cast a spell on him, only Lily. He never got mad at anyone else, but Lily. But when He did, it wasn't for a lingering hate. It was something else. I didn't know then, I know now. Oh God, do I know now.  
  
  
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Author's Note: Well, what do you think? Come on. I know you think something. Flame..do anything. You are reminded that flames will be used to burn down my high school. I know I should be working on my other two series. I have the fourth chapter for Admitting Love done, I just have to go over it again. I almost have the whatever chapter we're on for Completely Incomplete done. Oh well, the second chapter to this should be done in a weeks time. Mind you, my weeks are different then others. ^_^ Yep! Review, and like always. Peace, love, and bra burnings. -Squishy Teddy.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Lily, James, Peter, Sirius, nor the star Remus. I do not own Hogwarts, or anything within. I do, however, own this plot and story, and a laptop...and..a light I made in teched...And I own A 50 in my wallet. That's about it.   
  
  
  
  



	2. Brabbles and Shreds

The Reason  
By: *Squishy*Teddy*  
  
  
Two weeks had passed since the sorting feast, since the night Lily and James had that fight of words, and still no peace had came to me. I had 14 days of being irritated, and bitched at by a certain white haired girl named Nada Dumbledore. But, today was Sunday, and Sunday had always brought the peace, before. Maybe it would help now.   
  
The midmorning light was breaking through my scarlet velvet curtains that hung from my four poster bed. I continued to leave my pale lashes resting upon freckled dotted cheeks. Personally, I didn't want to wake up, but even with the warm comforting beams adorning the vermilion blankets, and my face. The noise outside my small world was affecting my relaxation.   
The draperies of my sanctuary were pulled away, letting the sun's full force fall down on my bedstead. Of course, I moaned, as I always did when I was forced awake. Pulling my pillow over my head, I started to speak into it. "Go away..."  
  
Something large jumped upon my stomach, and straddled my torso. One of Sirius' large hands pulled my barrier from its protected attribute, and the first thing I saw was his toothy grin on me. Still, those limbs that preyed me away from my leisure, were now on my shoulders, shaking something awful.  
  
"Moooony! It's time to get up! Mom made cookies, and Little Jimmy wants to know if you want to come out at play!" His over-cheerful voice in the morning had ended up with a feather pillow to the side of his head, which sent him off me and to the wooden floor besides my bed. On the other hand, I slid out from under my comforter and pressed those awfully large feet to the cold, oak floor. Wonderful morning surprise.  
  
"Shut up, Padfoot..." My voice was husky with slumber, and my hands darted to lashes, laden with sleep, which were quickly brushed off. It only took a few quick steps until I made my way to my trunk. This hole-y trunk with patched up robes holding inside was my house, my holding. My only possession. The lock was broke on it, seeing I retrieved it from the garbage, but you get what you pay for. I knelt in front of it and flipped it open with ease, and almost immediately rummaged through the piles of broken bindings, and patched clothes. Finding a half way descent one, I pulled it out of it's carrier and on to my body.  
  
"Now, that's what I call preparation.." Sirius said, still on floor, looking up at me with those electric hues, with that same smile on his pink lips. My own eyes rolled at him, as I grabbed him by the arm.   
  
"Goofball.." I stated once he was up, and dreadful was the task of surpressing an on coming smile.   
  
"Now, Moony, leave our balls out of this..We know who'd win that.." Sirius said with a grin, as I started to walk away from him.  
  
"Smart ass.." I continued to smile, even though, being annoyed was what was supposed to happen. It never did though.   
  
Padfoot, however, jumped up, and turned to look at his own posterior. His voice rose, with   
sarcasm to say to his rump, "I didn't know you were so smart!"   
  
With the look on my face, Sirius had gotten the point to run, and of course, I sprinted after him, yelling smart remarks, and insults, while he skipped down the stairs, nearly running over first years.  
  
He and I could go on for hours exchanging remarks and insults. Throw James in there, and you'd have The Three Stooges. Peter would sit there, complaining about loud mouthed friends, and how he should've gotten normal friends. Wed ignore it, though. After all, we all thought he was kidding.  
  
We darted across the common room, stopping sometimes at chairs to see if I could reach across and grab him. I never could though, but when I had nearly caught him by the collar of his robes, he had took a step back, and out of the common room. I followed, of course, only to trip on the last stair of the entrance, and at someone's tennis clad feet.  
  
Sheepishly, I rose my head, expecting to see James, or even worse, a professor. Instead, I saw Lily. Her emerald hues questioning what I was doing without words. Sirius was behind her, though, doubled over on the floor, laughing at my -smooth- move.   
  
However, my angel reached down and offered me that delicate hand of creamy composure, and my own massive one rose to grab it. Slow motion, it was for me. The perfect situation to make my move, besides the laughing Sirius in the middle of the hall. Then a hellish voice that could only belong to one person stung in my ears, as a foot came down hard on my back.   
  
"Come on, Lily." Nada Dumbledore was standing on the small of my backbone, and even with her small frame, it hurt from a recent bruise. "I want to know what happened.." Came another whine from her pallid tiers. Sirius however, broke into another round of laughter at the sight of this witch standing on my back. Lily also smiled, shaking her head, so that those fiery strands fell onto her chest from behind her ears.   
  
"Nada, come on, get off him." Lily's soft voice echoed softly, as she smirked down to me again.  
  
"Him?" The other girl didn't do anything she was told, only innocently asked that question, while icy oculars rested upon a her friend.  
  
"The person you're standing on..." The redhead pointed out with a long index finger, to me, her other hand now resting at her side again, although her face was very apologetic. I however, growled at Nada, as I tried to push her off my back. However, she made no move to get off me.  
  
"Hello, Lupin..." She scowled down at me. " Honestly, Lily. I thought they just got new carpeting.."  
  
"Get off me, Nada or I'll rip you to shreds." I screamed, not even thinking of the consequences. Nada didn't know what I was, neither did Lily, but my friend who was now completely serious, had stood up from his position on the floor.  
  
"Yeah, Nada. Get off him. We have things to do today.." Sirius said in complete calmness as the white haired witch removed herself from my back. I stood up, after grabbing onto Sirius' offered hand. Nada continued to scowl, at her giving up of my spine.  
  
However, I chose to ignore it, and gave a frown to Lily as I whispered the word, "bye." Sirius continued to drag me down the hall by the arm. His grip was very tight, now. I knew where we were going though. Down the main stairs, and out the door, we made our way to the whomping willow where a few students were playing under it's massive limbs. A game known as dodging leaves, so that it would sound innocent to teachers, and parents. Many pupils however got hurt in this game, and all were forbidden to play it. Only the dumb, or extremely courageous played it, now.  
  
Sirius' large mouth spread apart, and yelled something quite interesting that made all of the students run to check out. "Flitwick proposed to Trelawny!" It was common knowledge that the two professors had been dating for a while, but no one knew why. For some reason, the upper class man thought it all for the sex. Then again, it was only one opinion.  
  
I soon found myself playing look out for disciples as Sirius once again, turned into a shaggy black dog. Even with my keen eyes, I had a terrible problem seeing the greasy-haired boy who hid among the brush along the edge of the forbidden forest. Once I made sure no one was around, or I thought I did, I slid down the hole. I had made a mistake, although, by not seeing that Slytherin in the bush. The second biggest mistake of my life.  
  
Once in the passage, Sirius transformed back into a human, who was frowning in my direction. "What were you thinking, Moony?!"  
  
"What do you mean, What was I thinking?" I crossed my arms back over my chest, and headed down the long dirt passage to our little hide out.  
  
"Oh, don't play dumb, Remus. You told Nada that you were going to rip her to shreds." Sirius frowned at me once more, running a bit to catch up to me.  
  
"She was standing on my back!" My own hues of sea blue narrowed at my good friend, before I turned to watch ahead of me. I knew what I had done was wrong, but I was angry.   
  
"Even so! If she tells her father, you will get..expelled.." Sirius had made that word, expelled, sound like the ultimate death penalty, which it was, for me. I had no where else to go but Hogwarts. My head hung slightly, while one of my hands ran through sandy tresses.  
  
"You're right, Padfoot...I..I guess I wasn't thinking..." She shrugged slightly as he made our way through a trap door, only to see the other two members of our prestige club lounging in those ruined, dusty recliners.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Peter shyly asked, as he played with a small white mouse in his hand. It's name was Blood, for it's terribly red eyes.  
  
"Remus threatened Nada.." Sirius mouthed, as he made his way to a chair, to loaf.   
  
"Moony, if.." James started, but I interrupted after seating myself on a rather ratty looking footstool, and pulled my legs up to my chest.   
  
"I know, James. I wasn't thinking..."  
  
"What were you thinking about then? You're usually never this careless." Sirius said again. My index finger and middle finger, on both hands, went to my temples, and inefficiently rubbed them.  
  
"It's nothing big, Padfoot. I was just..." I trailed off, but he smiled knowingly, and for once, kept quiet. Sirius was not as dumb as he looked. He could easily put two and two together, and I was graceful for it. James however, who was sprawled out on the couch, wasn't satisfied with my answer, and voiced his questioning of the same inquiry.  
  
"You were just...what?" My head rose, before shaking it.  
  
"I was just thinking about a girl. All right. Just one girl.."  
  
"Ouuu!!! Moony's got a crush.." Peter teased, and I narrowed my eyes at him, easily telling him non-verbally to shut up.  
  
"Who is it?" James questioned, moving closer. He of course, expected me to tell him.   
  
"Mind your own business.." I sneered, and quickly, apologized before standing up. "Sorry, James..I-I'm just sorry."   
  
I had gotten up to leave. To go to my room upstairs, where I used to scratch, and bite myself, but now would ponder what was wrong with me. Why I had blown up at them? Of course, I knew why though. James and Sirius were my best friends, and I was supposed to tell them everything. I wouldn't tell them this though. I couldn't. I had thought it was too early to tell them. Tell them that I was in loved with our best girl friend. Our firebird, our thesaurus. Oh God, how wrong I was. Maybe if I had told them then, when they had ask. She would be mine.  
  
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Author's note: Mwah. Look what I can do when I'm sick. x.x; I should've gotten this done sooner, but I was busy. I have just started high school, and you know how frantic that can be. I knew I had all summer to do this. Why didn't I though? -whisper- I was busy. I wish I would've gotten this done sooner, though. Then maybe people would still check this out. Oh well. The Reason will be updated in the next...three days. Incomplete will remain Incomplete until I rewrite the first, second, and third chapter of that. So what, I change my mind a lot, I'm female. It's allowed.  
  
Thanks for your reviews. They're appreciated, and they make themselves known. I love opinions, and flames. They help when I'm writing. :D! Thank you for review, and for reading. It's very much loved. I love you all...!! Forever Squishy...Squishy Teddy. 


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